Thanks for visiting my little blog, Please note that this is my online diary, thoughts & feelings expressed on this blog are mine & mine alone. I hope that you will take the time to comment & tell me what you think about the things that I write. If you do not wish to know what I am thinking in my tiny little head then please do not read on, but I will not apoloize for my spelling (although I'm trying to be better!) or my posts!

Thanks for stopping by,
Princess Steph

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Effects of Hard Economic Times on me

i am totally paralized by the what has happened in the last month. it has all piled up on me this week and i cannot move.  i cannot do anything.  i know that i have not been blogging lately, and the reason is that I have had a number of things changing and fluxuating and causing my life to go into turmoil.

i know that i am so lucky to have a job still in these times, so many people have been laid off, fired without sererence, not treated well, ecetera and to just have a job in the industry that i work in is a big deal. 

3 weeks ago, i thought i was being fired.  i had had the initial conversation with the Senior VP at my firm and we had chatted about how i only wanted to work in the city in which i lived, and how this was important to me.  how i also understood that part of the understanding of not working in the ciry where we live is that if there is not work, then i would get severence.  i was sure of it.

10 days later the phone rang, it was my CEO.  The CEO of my firm is a good friend, a mentor and someone that i truly adore as a friend.  she asked me to go to winnipeg for a client. winnipeg is a 2 1/2 hour flight from where i live. it is a small city. it is far from friends and family. it is not my home.  but she asked me to go, she needed me to go. so i made the lists, the pro's and con's lists and here are the shortened biggest pro's and con's:

Pro's:
  • it's employment: there are currently no senior level jobs in my field in Toronto. I have been watching
  • it is only for 6-7 months over the winter
  • it is working with an interesting client and with a senior level volunteers and a couple of very senior level canadians that will look excellent on my resumee
Con's:
  • it is no where near where i live, where my friends and family are, where my life is.  need i say more?
  • i don't deal well with change like this, especially not now. i can barely make my life work when i don't have significant change at the moment.
  • i finally feel that i have been making some movement towards making parts of my life work. i've gone on a few dates, i've made a whole new group of friends, i am making steps forward to making changes
so here i am picking employment the biggest PRO in the list and so i am going. i am moving my whole life to Winnipeg.  it iwll not be easy and i am going.  it has frozen me in time.  i cannot appear to be capable of doing anything.  currently my apartment is a mess, my life is a mess, i have client projects up to my eyeballs that are piling up to the ceiling, i can't get a grib on anything.  what am i supposed to do? 

change and i are not friends and this is so evident in this move.  i need this to be easy.  i need this to work.  i need it to be a thing that works for me.  i just don't know how to take the first step.  i can't take the first step.  i am frozen 100 meters behind the starting blocks.....

1 comment:

Kate said...

I am a real estate agent in Winnipeg, so perhaps I'm a little bias, but it is an incredibly diverse city with so much to offer and appreciate (yes, even in winter!) I believe if you give our lovely city a chance and remain open to the fact that a little prairie city could possess an open affinity for the arts, beautiful architecture, cultured citizens, a stable economy, decent shopping and most importantly, great restaurants then you could come to love it. And if not, on the bright side it's only a temporary assignment, right? Who knows, maybe Winnipeg will steal your heart!

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