Happy Father's Day

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Thankful for....

It feels sometimes, in this life, in this year, that there is little to be thankful for, when again this morning I woke up feeling shitty again. Then I step back and I look up and I realize that I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, more clothes in my closet than I know what to do with and friends and family that will support me through anything if I need them.

I am this year I am particularly thankful for a few things that surprise even me:

• Relationship with #Torontosis (aka #spoiledsis) - I am grateful and blessed to have a new found relationship with my sister who was previously known as #spoiledsis on this blog and is now #torontosis.  Since she moved back to Toronto our relationship has grown and improved.  I think the fact that she read my blog and understands me a bit better probably helped too.  I think that we likely have a bit of a better understanding of each other.  I have been more open to her life also.  I try now to see things her way.  To understand her life and her family more.  She has been wonderful in spending time with my niece and her husband has included me in countless things that he likely wanted to just have to himself with his family.
• Time to heal-  Had I not been laid off in January, due to lack of work in Toronto, I am not sure that I would have had the chance to start getting better.  I wonder what sort of state I would have been in had I continued to work the same amount of hours in the same job.  I was so ill when I was not working, I am not sure what would have happened.  Having had the last 9 months off, and essentially the whole year, I am feeling very blessed to have the chance to try and get better, although i don`t feel better, it is nice to have the time.
• A Voice for Mental Health and Mental Illness - I am thankful that I have found a voice for mental health and illness.  Whether it is through Twitter, my blog or Facebook, I am proud that I can speak about my illness, bipolar disorder, openly and honestly, for myself and those that can`t.  I feel that part of my life will always be advocating or speaking about mental health and illness.  I hope that my voice will help others understand that mental illness is not something that is scary or has a stigma attached to it.  Real, successful people are struck with it.  They look just like me, they are me.
• New Friends/Support Network - I am so grateful for the fact that I have grown a large support network of friends and individuals through Twitter, therapy and just life.  I am beyond grateful to these individuals.  They are wonderful.  They know me for who I am.  There is no pre-tense.  They know that I am not well, they know that I am crazy, we do not have years of the past that we must remember and live with, it is just the now.  It is a new friendship.  I never thought that I would have new friends like this.  I am truly grateful.

I will continue to strive to find things to be thankful and grateful for everyday.  My life is full of things to be happy about.  I just have to remind myself to notice them and more importantly take note of them.

Happy Thanksgiving.  May you find peace and love with your friends and family today. May you find so many things to be grateful for that your list is too long to even contemplate writing writing down. May you not need reminding how lucky you are, but may you find thanks in the simplicity of daily life.

Making Jerk in Jamaica and Recipes

I just spent 16 days in Jamaica at the Ritz Carlton Rose Hall, Montego Bay. One of the best parts of Rose hall is the amazing Jerk Bar that they have at the hotel. Every Saturday they have a wonderful cooking class that you can go to with Chef Keisha to learn how to cook jerk when you get home. The jerk was amazing and everyday we had jerk chicken, rice and peas, festival, jerk fish, baked yam, baked sweet potato..... so good. Part of the cooking class was being given the Recipes for jerk and I thought that I would share them. I have yet to make them at home but am planning on it in the next little while. I think that it will be perfect in the summer at le cottage.

Wet Jerk Marinade:

1/4 cup whole Jamaican pimento berries or 1/8 cup ground allspice
10 scotch bonnets or hobs peppers (seeds & stems removed) chopped
1/2 cup of scallions, chopped
1/2 cup of onions, chopped
4 garlic cloves, chopped
4 bay leaves, crushed
1/3 cup ginger, peeled and chopped
1/3 cup fresh thyme
salt to taste

1 tablespoon ground black pepper

3/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup soy sauce

Blend all ingredients in a blender. Marinate Chicken/Pork/Sausages for 24-72 hours. Shorter time span for tofu/shell fish/fish.

Dry Jerk Marinade:

• 1/2 cup Pimento Berries crushed or 1/4 cup ground allspice
• 4 tbsp crushed pepper flakes
• 1/2 cup garlic powder
• 1/2 cup ground ginger
• 1/3 cup fresh thyme
• 4 scotch bonnet peppers, chopped
• 4 bay leaves, crushed
• 1 tsp salt to taste
• 1 tbsp black pepper

Mix all the ingredients and keep in a cool dry place. Rub your home made jerk rub over tofu, fish, chicken, pork or seafood.




Mild Jerk Sauce

(this was served with every jerk dish we had and was delicious. I loved the hot one and will have a jar of this in my fridge always. It will be so good on everything!)

• 2 cups wet Jerk Marinade
• 1/4 cup Leam Perry Sauce (which tasted exactly like Worcester sauce)
• 4 oz Tabasco Sauce
• 3 cups Pineapple Juice
• 1 cup Ketchup
• 3 cups Sweet Chili Sauce
• 1 cup Soy Sauce
• 1/2 cup Honey

Blend all ingredients in blender.

Hot Jerk Sauce (this was my favorite!)

• 4 cups wet Jerk Marinade
• 1/4 cup Leam Perry Sauce (which tasted exactly like Worcester sauce)
• 8 oz Tabasco Sauce
• 3 cups Pineapple Juice
• 1 cup Ketchup
• 2 cups Sweet Chili Sauce
• 1 cup Soy Sauce
• 1/2 cup Honey

Blend all ingredients in blender.

Rice and Peas

Popular Jamaican dish made with red kidney beans, coconut milk, rice, scallion, pimento and thyme. These are so yummy!!!

• 1/2 cup red kidney beans/gungo peas (if not canned then they need to be prepared)
• 2 cloves of garlic
• 1 scotch bonnet pepper, whole
• 1 stalk of scallion, chopped
• 1 sprig of thyme
• 1 oz of ginger

• 2 oz butter or margarine

• salt to taste

• 2 1/2 cups rice

• 3+ cups coconut milk

1. Cook beans in 4 cups of water 25-30 minutes. (If using canned beans, use the liquids in the can to give the Rice and Peas the flavour and pink colour. Top up the liquid to 4 cups with water)

2. Add coconut milk, scallion, pepper, garlic, salt and pepper, bring to a boil.

3. Add rice and adjust stove temperature to medium

4. Cover pot and allow to simmer

5. When liquid is 90% consumed into rice, turn stove temp to low and finish cooking

6. When cooked, fluff rice and enjoy with jerk chicken

Cooking time 40-45 minute

What I'll wear on the beach

what i'll wear on the beach by PrincessSteph featuring Diane von Furstenberg dresses

Items in this set:
Diane von Furstenberg dress, 348 EUR
Diane von Furstenberg dress, 78 GBP
Diane von Furstenberg dress, 78 GBP
Modcloth.com swimwear, $135
Miraclesuit swimwear, $134

Pink Christmas Lights

I am about to cry. I just put my pink Christmas try up and took out the pink Christmas lights from the box and low and behold half of them don't work. I'm not sure why. They just don't work. Not one little bit. I could really cry. I need them to work. They are really hard to find, pink Christmas tree lights. I am now going to have to be on the hunt for them tomorrow. I really wanted to get my tree done today and now I am going to have to wait. So upsetting. I am going to be pissed if I can't find any.

South American Count Down - 8 days

So, I leave for the wedding in 8 days and I am getting excited. I can't wait!!! It will be so much fun. I have been thinking about my packing needs and I think that I am only going to really take dresses and maybe one pair of jeans, with flip flops, a pair of Birkenstocks, a pair of shoes for the wedding (red soled beauties of course), my Tory Burch black flats, a pair of converse and some bathing suit cover ups. That should do for 8 days. I think. I really don't want to over pack. I am trying to not be the over packer that I have been in the past. It is such a challenge for me. I get really nervous and then end up throwing everything in at the last minute. Not good. I think that I will take photos of what I am packing and post them when taken. Getting excited........

St. Patrick's Day

why is it that the whole world celebrates one countries existence today? I just don't get it. In that vein, I am always up for some good cheap sarcasm on a day like today.

Christmas Trees Chez Moi

I love pink. I love pink anytime of the year and it has fallen into my Christmas decorating. I have three pink trees. the firs is dark pink and six feet tall. Here is it lit up and decorated both with the lights out and on. I put all of my fun decorations on here that I buy every year. I just love it. I will have to get a picture of the flying angle that sits on top of it. I just realized that I hadn't put it on yet. I love my pink trees!!

This is a close up of the tree. It didn't turn out as well as I wanted it too, but it is a small snapshot:

This is the second pink Christmas Tree. Bought at Target and it is about 3 feet tall. It is a Barbie tree, but we are not going to admit that to anyone. The flower lights are new this year from the Christmas store in Frankenmuth, Michigan. I only put on white glass balls, the flower lights, baby pink lights and white crystal snowflakes on this one. So pretty.....

Christmas Decorations.......

With all of the craziness of December, I did not have my annual December 1st Christmas decorating party for one. yes, the day that I lug out all of my christmas decorations, which includes, but is not limited to:

• 3 pink Christmas Trees (6 Feet, 3 feet, 1 foot tall)
• 5 reefs
• a collection of Christmas themed snow globes
• a collection of stockings
• a pile of amazing Christmas cards
• a bunch of Christmas serving dishes

Needless to say, I was still putting up my first tree on the 22nd of December. I told you that it was a crazy December!!!! I don't feel ready to take them down yet. I am not sure when I will feel ready, but I know that today is not the day and this week will probably not be the week. I am not sure when, but I may be turning into one of those crazy single woman who leaves her tree up all year long....... not sure but the warning signs are there. I have given you fair warning.

Christmas Posts

I am dieing to post for Christmas but I can't. We have an agreement in my family that no celebration of Christmas - carol listening, decorating, wrapping, baking, cooking - of any kind can happen until December 1st. I already have a list of things that I want to write about. I can't wait. Some of my upcoming topics include:

• all i want for Christmas
• top 10 princess gifts
• top 10 money is no object, dream gifts
• top 10 Christmas Cd's
• top 10 Holiday Movies
• top 8 Hanukkah menorahs
• a princess decorating for Christmas
• a princess decorating for Hanukkah
• handling Christmakah - needed skills

Do you think that writing this post breaks the rules??? Who knows?? I don't tell anyone that I write this blog so I guess no one will know.

Even though I feel like Christmas has thrown up on everything lately, I am getting excited.