Thanks for visiting my little blog, Please note that this is my online diary, thoughts & feelings expressed on this blog are mine & mine alone. I hope that you will take the time to comment & tell me what you think about the things that I write. If you do not wish to know what I am thinking in my tiny little head then please do not read on, but I will not apoloize for my spelling (although I'm trying to be better!) or my posts!

Thanks for stopping by,
Princess Steph

Monday, October 11, 2010

Thankful for....

It feels sometimes, in this life, in this year, that there is little to be thankful for, when again this morning I woke up feeling shitty again. Then I step back and I look up and I realize that I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, more clothes in my closet than I know what to do with and friends and family that will support me through anything if I need them.

I am this year I am particularly thankful for a few things that surprise even me:
  • Relationship with #Torontosis (aka #spoiledsis) - I am grateful and blessed to have a new found relationship with my sister who was previously known as #spoiledsis on this blog and is now #torontosis.  Since she moved back to Toronto our relationship has grown and improved.  I think the fact that she read my blog and understands me a bit better probably helped too.  I think that we likely have a bit of a better understanding of each other.  I have been more open to her life also.  I try now to see things her way.  To understand her life and her family more.  She has been wonderful in spending time with my niece and her husband has included me in countless things that he likely wanted to just have to himself with his family.
  • Time to heal-  Had I not been laid off in January, due to lack of work in Toronto, I am not sure that I would have had the chance to start getting better.  I wonder what sort of state I would have been in had I continued to work the same amount of hours in the same job.  I was so ill when I was not working, I am not sure what would have happened.  Having had the last 9 months off, and essentially the whole year, I am feeling very blessed to have the chance to try and get better, although i don`t feel better, it is nice to have the time.
  • A Voice for Mental Health and Mental Illness - I am thankful that I have found a voice for mental health and illness.  Whether it is through Twitter, my blog or Facebook, I am proud that I can speak about my illness, bipolar disorder, openly and honestly, for myself and those that can`t.  I feel that part of my life will always be advocating or speaking about mental health and illness.  I hope that my voice will help others understand that mental illness is not something that is scary or has a stigma attached to it.  Real, successful people are struck with it.  They look just like me, they are me.
  • New Friends/Support Network - I am so grateful for the fact that I have grown a large support network of friends and individuals through Twitter, therapy and just life.  I am beyond grateful to these individuals.  They are wonderful.  They know me for who I am.  There is no pre-tense.  They know that I am not well, they know that I am crazy, we do not have years of the past that we must remember and live with, it is just the now.  It is a new friendship.  I never thought that I would have new friends like this.  I am truly grateful.
I will continue to strive to find things to be thankful and grateful for everyday.  My life is full of things to be happy about.  I just have to remind myself to notice them and more importantly take note of them.

Happy Thanksgiving.  May you find peace and love with your friends and family today. May you find so many things to be grateful for that your list is too long to even contemplate writing writing down. May you not need reminding how lucky you are, but may you find thanks in the simplicity of daily life.

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