Thanks for visiting my little blog, Please note that this is my online diary, thoughts & feelings expressed on this blog are mine & mine alone. I hope that you will take the time to comment & tell me what you think about the things that I write. If you do not wish to know what I am thinking in my tiny little head then please do not read on, but I will not apoloize for my spelling (although I'm trying to be better!) or my posts!

Thanks for stopping by,
Princess Steph

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Updating "101 things about me" and thoughts on goals

I just updated my "101 things about me".  I had written the list probably 2 years ago and I hadn't realized how out of date it had gotten.  Not many changes, but some key ones, mainly surrounding family and goals.  Recently it has become clearer and clearer to me that as I approach 35 in a year and a half and the ominous "I will have a baby on my own" is out there, I really want a family, not just a baby.  I want a husband/partner, I want children with that person who loves me and who will love "OUR" children.  I find it so sad that I have not been able to accomplish this.  This is truly the one thing that I want more than anything.   This is such an open sore in my life. It is there everyday.  Every child I see, every family I see, every pregnant woman I see walking down the street is like pouring salt in the wound.  It is unfair for me to feel this way towards these people and their happiness, but it is the way I feel.  I wish it was different, but it is not.  So 35 is approaching.  18 months away.  I have a lot to do in 18 months before the ominous "I will have a baby on my own" option B rears its ugly head as a harsh reality.

1 comment:

Christielli said...

I just randomly came across your blog, but I can totally identify with how you feel in your post. I always tell myself that it will work out, but it just sucks that we're not in control of the timeline.


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