Not sure how many of you have second or adoptive mothers and fathers, but I have a number of them. I don't know why, but I have found comfort in a number of women and men who are close to my parents and who I love. I think that one of the reasons I have sought out these people is that they bring something to my life that my own parents do not.
Why is this on my mind??? I am at my parents summer house and one of second mothers is here, who also happens to be one of my mothers best friends. She is up for the weekend visiting mother. She is so wonderful. I am really able to tell her anything and she listens. She also understands my family and knows all the players. No judgement on me or my life. She is supportive - with no added criticism. She loves me for who I am. It is fascinating. I don't have that with my own mother so I assume that that is part of the appeal of the adoptive mother. They love you for who you are, not because they have to.
On the adoptive father side, I have two or three, ironically the most prominent is my father's best friend. Funny that they are so similar, yet this gentleman loves me and supports me for me. He thinks that I am successful and fabulous and wonderful and a great person without having to be thin and better and perfect and more like my sisters and different from who I am. He likes me for who I, Stephanie am. What a friggin concept!!!!
Not that I would trade my parents in or wish them any harm or ill will - I love them more than anything and don't know what I would do without them, BUT I guess - that you have a lot of baggage with someone who has known you your whole life. That does not go away easily. Although my parents will always love me more than anyone, it is not without conditions, I have found that unconditional and unexpectational love elsewhere and I feel lucky to have done that.
I love them all but differently - exactly like they love me.
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