I have been thinking a lot lately about the little white pills that help me get through the day. 20 mg a day of white miracle powder that compressed into a pill makes me feel like I am semi-normal, semi-balanced. I wonder if this little white pill is the future of my existence? Is this what it is going to be like forever? I guess that that would be OK, if it continued to work.
I had an interesting experience over the holidays, when I was alerted to the fact by my whole family that I was happier, less angry, more normal, more aware of who I was.....if only they knew that it was all because of a little white pill that kept me "normal" and "happy" and "balanced". What would they say if they only knew? The shame that keeps it a secret from them is my secret alone. I wonder if my thoughts on them being ashamed of me and thinking that I can't do it alone would be true? Likely. Would I care? Likely. Why? Who knows.
Thanks for visiting my little blog, Please note that this is my online diary, thoughts & feelings expressed on this blog are mine & mine alone. I hope that you will take the time to comment & tell me what you think about the things that I write. If you do not wish to know what I am thinking in my tiny little head then please do not read on, but I will not apoloize for my spelling (although I'm trying to be better!) or my posts!
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