Thanks for visiting my little blog, Please note that this is my online diary, thoughts & feelings expressed on this blog are mine & mine alone. I hope that you will take the time to comment & tell me what you think about the things that I write. If you do not wish to know what I am thinking in my tiny little head then please do not read on, but I will not apoloize for my spelling (although I'm trying to be better!) or my posts!

Thanks for stopping by,
Princess Steph

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Lonely Rant

Here I am, approximately 2225 miles from my home, living in a hotel and completely alone.  Yes, the client is lovely and nice and they are making me feel welcome and warm and fuzzy, but at the end of the day, I return to an empty hotel room where it is me, myself and I.  It feels like I am just at my wits end.  I knew that it would be like this.  That I would be alone, on my own, no one here.  But I had forgotten that it was truly lonely.  That it was about having no one to talk to.  No one to brush up against as you walk down the street.  No friend to give a hug to on the occasional encounter.  No kiss on the cheek hello. 

I am truly lacking human interaction.  I am craving it.  I found myself yesterday at a client event, craving the touch of someone else yesterday.  Not in a sexual way, get your mind out of the gutter! But in a touch my arm in conversation, kind of way, so much so that I was over compensating for it.  I lead one of the leading business men in the country to his seat, who is the same age as my father, by taking his arm!  This is not an old man.  This is a man of 60.  But I think that I was craving some interaction to just touch someone. 

I really miss having someone to talk to, but i miss even more having someone to sleep with.  Not sex, but to have in my bed.  Not even cuddle, but just to have in my bed.  My hotel room is lovely and it would be lovely to have someone to share part of this or that with.  I feel that I am missing out, by not sharing that with someone.  Who that is, i am not sure.  How I am going to meet them in Winnipeg, I am not sure.  Why I am spewing this verbal diaherria, I am not sure. 

I am just lonely and you poor blog are getting the blow of my feelings.  I am sorry.  Well it is back to my work and then off to my empty hotel room and if I am good, maybe I will treat myself to a decent meal on my own with a glass of wine for one.

1 comment:

Carmen said...

I moved to Toronto from Houston and have felt the same way you do many, many times...especially in the winter! Whenever I start to crave human interaction or touch, I go get a massage. It cheers me up, makes me feel 1000 times better and, of course, gets me touched all over for 90 blissful minutes!

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