The Lady on the Bus

I have become one with public transit lately. I have been so out of the loop with working downtown Toronto lately that I was not used to it. Now I like to think of myself as one with the tube. Anyway, it has really given me some time to think about the interesting people around me, as I try not to let my OCD tendencies take over vis a vis germs.


There is a woman who I see on the Express Bus often (I refer to the Express bus as my private limo, as although it is twice the price, I always get a seat and it goes door to door virtually). Anyway I often have seen a woman sitting across from me. She is probably in her late 20's and is very large. I rarely use the degrading term of "obese" but the woman is Obese. (just say obese out loud and you feel like you are labelling someone even if you are speaking to no one. so awful.) She needs a seat and a half on the bus and walks with a cane. I heard her speaking to some friends the other day about how she had to have her knees done. So so sad. She can't be older than 30. My point is not to pity her, but to comment on the amount of people who stare at the woman. She seems nice enough (not that I know her, I only ride the bus with her), she is always reading something thoughtful and interesting, and she is just like everyone else - going to work.


It must be very difficult to have everyone looking at you consistently. Staring at you as you move, judging you before you open your mouth, thinking about how uncomfortable you must be. I have even caught myself thinking (and ashamed to admit it) "How did she end up so large, could she not have exercised some sense of self control?" I quickly realize that I have little self control, so how on earth can I judge someone else. She obviously has a problem that is an illness, be it mental or physical and people just stare and judge. From my observations, you can see that, I myself was caught observing her today. hence the post. I feel guilty about the whole thing, and wonder if I am just like everyone else, rather than trying to be a better person and not judge


As someone who is not a skinny minny by any stretches of the imagination, I wonder if I evoke the same thoughts in people. I often wonder, when I see larger women, if I am the same size as the woman that is walking in front of me or not. Do people judge me in the same way that this poor woman is judged???