Thanks for visiting my little blog, Please note that this is my online diary, thoughts & feelings expressed on this blog are mine & mine alone. I hope that you will take the time to comment & tell me what you think about the things that I write. If you do not wish to know what I am thinking in my tiny little head then please do not read on, but I will not apoloize for my spelling (although I'm trying to be better!) or my posts!

Thanks for stopping by,
Princess Steph

Monday, September 29, 2008

The Performance Review Conundrum

I am having my performance review tomorrow. It has been a tough year for me this year. I have struggled. I am well liked by my firm, but in the last 6-8 months, as anyone who reads my blog knows, I have been struggling with rather severe depression. Prior to that it was moderate depression. I am not proud of my mental state of affairs, but I am also not one to hide it. I have been quite open with friends about the fact that I have a quite fragile mental state and that I am currently taking something everyday to make sure that I can wake up and function everyday.

Anyway, package my slightly fragile mental health with my migraine issues and it has been a bit of a mess, not to mention the major side effect of the drugs that I am taking being the lethargy, lack of concentration and inability to function some days and I have not been functioning at 100%. In the last 2 weeks, as Murphy's Law would predict, I have had a few missteps that have been taken note of. I have missed a couple of deadlines, I have submitted a substandard report, shit that is so not like me, but has happened. As I say, just so not like me. I am usually the one going above and beyond the call of my client.

So what to do. Do I come out with what has been going on in the last little while with me??? Do I admit to my Sr. VP and VP what is going on with my mental health? I am inclined to do that. I think that my best approach is to be honest with them. This downward spiral really cracked downward at Christmas but was in play for 6 months before that. I am just trying to manage functioning at this point and I think I need to share that I am doing my best and working with a Therapist to best manage the things in my life so that I can be a contributing member of society.

I have my performance review tomorrow, so I don't have a lot of time for thoughts, but any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

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