What I learnt is that it is not easy, but I am happy that I did it. The evening went ok. We met at the Starbucks as planned and before he arrived, we spent the whole time exchanging text messages and having a good chat as per normal. I felt like it was going to be fine and was comforted by that. When we met, I think that he was likely disappointed and I should preface this with the fact that it was 11pm at night and I had had nothing to drink other than a glass of wine earlier in the evening, he had not (more on this later!).
We walked to the casual pub after having a discussion over where to go and sat outside. I then came out that we were both exhausted and he had been out on the town since 3pm. Was i the intended Bootie Call that was now letting him down? He also, although not showing any signs of it, admitted that he had been drinking since then. I was supposed to have had a much busier evening running around for dinner and drinks with friends so I understood. But as you can see, it was not set up for success from the start.
It started off well and we had a lot to chat about, but we were both exhausted. I also think that at some point, I began to bore him and he lost interest in the conversation and the evening. I feel that the stars were not aligned. He ended up being very distracted about half way through the hour and a half that we spent together. I don't know if it was aligned even to keep up a friendship as we had before we met, which has saddened me slightly.
I was quite upset after we met, and because a. I am clueless and b. I don't play by the rules and c. I don't think that I ever intended this meeting to move to anything other than a friendship, I of course e-mailed him, as I had when I got home a "Bonne Nuit" e-mail. I had done this for the last 10 days or so. Nothing. I responded to tweets the next day. Nothing. I asked how his wedding plans that I knew he was taking part in were going. Nothing.
Then I clued in. i was the weird, overly eager, girl who had just met this boy, who happens to be a very popular boy (more on that later) who was stalking him. This was not my intent. i am a loving, caring person, who goes out of my way with my friends. Once I understood that he was not going to ever think of this as more than a friendship, then I treated him like a friend. I don't think that he understands that.
The weekend was difficult, because I was digesting what had gone on, I was struggling with having put myself out there, I was coming to terms with not being the person that someone had wanted me to be again physically that matches my personality and I was struggling with the change in twitter boy and my change in our online banter and quite frankly my anonymity.(I wonder if he has read my blog, its linked to my twitter account. Who knows?)
So what did I learn:
- Twitter is a weird communication forum where you can communicate openly and easily with people
- i think a sense of informality arises with Twitter rather quickly and you become very familiar with people very quickly
- i am now communicating with people more on Twitter than I do with my "non-twitter" friends, which is weird
- I am more open about my life, my trials, my tribulations on Twitter than I am in "real" life
Would I do it again? Yes. As a matter of fact, I am doing it again on Wednesday, and guess what? He asked me why there were no pics of me on my blog? He also harassed me for being so busy and over committed, which is what I need. I just think that I need to meet some new friends and some new people in the city.
I am seeing this as just another way to meet people. I was tweeting with another online friend about this same issue and she simply replied that "I meet people in all sorts of ways and this is just one of those ways". What a healthy way to look at it.
I'd love to hear your stories of meeting people from Twitter. I know that its happening. Let me know. This may be the version of online dating for those of us who hate online dating!
Follow me at @stephintoronto if you would like to or if you think you aren't totally petrified of meeting me? Again it is only one night.
I'll report on Wednesday soon enough!